After Preaching Genesis 7, Steven Furtick Begins Converting All Elevation Campuses Into Arks 
Rick Warren Transitions into a Dog so He Can Become First Dog Ordained as a Pastor 
Joel Osteen Steps Down from Preaching, Becomes a Bartender 
Jesus Canceled by Progressive Christians for Owning Slaves 
Democrats Last Supper: All Choke on Nothing Burger While Dining on Trump’s Tax Return Victoria Osteen Says the Scriptures Remind Her of Super Mario Brothers
Victoria, the wife of famous pastor Joel Osteen, recently published a cryptic tweet referencing Psalm…
Introducing a New and Exciting Bible Translation. The Critical Race Translation (CRT)
Today we are launching a semi-regular feature wherein we will examine the many equitable improvements…
Progressive Evangelicals Wonder Why all the Unvaccinated Evangelicals Disappeared From Earth
Earth (Nod Daily) — Earlier this morning, a stunning event that the world has never…
Biden Admin Orders OSHA to Issue New Rule Mandating All U.S. Workers to Start Identifying as LGBTQ+
Following a new rule implemented last week by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA)…
Stacey Abrams is Livid: “They’re Taking Away My Right to Cheat!”
In the wake of massive election reform in Georgia that would restrict voting to legally…
Jesus Checks Facebook to See Who Shared That Post So He Will Know Who to Bless
Heaven (Nod Daily News) — There have been multiple reports from several angels around the…
Double-masked and Unable to See Over Steering Wheel, SBC Leader Nearly Dies in Tragic Car Wreck
Brentwood, TN (Nod Daily News) — Southern Baptist Leader, Russell Moore, narrowly avoided a tragic…
Leading Bioethicist Says Biological Sex a Social Construct Designed to Oppress Stronger Athletes
Washington D.C. (Nod Daily News) — The nation’s leading bioethicist, Joe Biden, has declared that…
Joe Biden Says He Hopes to Be The First African American Woman in the White House
Portsmouth, NH — In an interview with Nod Daily News, Joe Biden said that he…
Future of Tater Tots in Jeopardy as Hasbro Moves to Neuter Mr. Potato Head
PAWTUCKET, RI — The future of the kids’ lunchtime favorite is now in jeopardy as…
School Celebrates Diversity by Reading Modified Dr. Seuss Book That Removes Racial Stereotypes
ATLANTA, GA — An elementary school in the Metro Atlanta area is celebrating diversity today…
Fauci Says He’s Found “Definitive Cure” For Virus by Removing The Earth’s Atmosphere
Washington, D.C. — Dr. Anthony Fauci says he has found a definitive cure for the…