Disguising Themselves as Friendly Americans, Russian Troops Fly Pride Flag as They Invade Ukraine

As Russia takes a beating in Ukraine, Putin recently expressed concern about the number of troops he is losing in his peace-keeping de-Nazification of the nation on his Southern border. Ukraine has been able to easily target the Russian military and has taken out dozens of tanks and thousands of soldiers.

“We needed to come up with a plan to be able to enter the country unnoticed,” the Kremlin said as Putin covered his head in shame. “We’re losing too many troops and way too much of our military equipment.”

Putin then addressed his military commanders and told them that the only way to get enough troops into Ukraine without being noticed or taken out immediately is to disguise our troops as friendly American troops. “Our platoons will fly the rainbow flag on all of our tanks,” Putin asserted. “This way, they will think we are Americans and will welcome us in.”

Putin then addressed his commanders, stating that “nothing” is off the table. “Even if it means putting pregnant women in our fighter jets,” he commanded, “the only way to win is to look like foolish Americans.”