Jesus Checks Facebook to See Who Shared That Post So He Will Know Who to Bless

Heaven (Nod Daily News) — There have been multiple reports from several angels around the throne of God that Jesus was seen checking Facebook recently to see who shared certain posts that promise His blessings if they share it.

“We’ve seen a recent dramatic uptick in online shares,” Michael the Archangel told Nod Daily News. “Jesus is working overtime to bless those who have shared such posts.”

Some posts that have been shared over 1 million times include the following:

According to several accounts from archangels, Jesus’ backlog of blessings is piling up by the day and isn’t sure when he’ll be able to get to them all. Much like people who are waiting on the IRS, some are reported to have to wait several months to count their blessings.