Double-masked and Unable to See Over Steering Wheel, SBC Leader Nearly Dies in Tragic Car Wreck
Brentwood, TN (Nod Daily News) — Southern Baptist Leader, Russell Moore, narrowly avoided a tragic accident yesterday during an epic moment of driving while virtue-signaling (DWV).
Desiring to make sure everyone on Twitter new that he received a COVID-19 vaccine and that he, unlike those other sinners, always wore two masks while driving alone in an air-tight vehicle, Moore caught himself swerving into the opposite lane as he was taking a selfie and unable to see over the steering wheel.
“It was scary,” Moore told Nod Daily News. “Thankfully, the Lord favors me more than those Trump-loving white supremacists who don’t wear enough face masks.”
Brentwood Police said Moore is lucky to be alive. “I’ve never seen such a tremendous display of virtue-signaling in my entire career,” said Captain Ahn of the 4th precinct. “It was a sight to behold, we’re all lucky to be alive.”