Fauci Says He’s Found “Definitive Cure” For Virus by Removing The Earth’s Atmosphere

Washington, D.C. — Dr. Anthony Fauci says he has found a definitive cure for the coronavirus nearly a year of research, but it may come at a price.

“We can stop the virus dead in its tracks,” Fauci told Nod Daily, “if we can just figure out how to rid the Earth of it’s entire atmosphere.” Fauci warned, however, that it might not be easy.

Fauci says that since viruses need an atmosphere for the droplets to travel through, eliminating that would completely eliminate the spread. “We don’t know what kind of effect that removing the Earth’s atmosphere would have on human beings,” Fauci said, “but we do know that the virus will not survive.”

Dr. Fauci warned that this may be the only way to ensure the survival of the human race. “We’ve tried face masks,” he said. “We’ve even tried stacking multiple face masks one on top of the other. It appears that no matter how many face masks we wear, droplets are still able to travel through the cloth and into…you guessed it…the atmosphere.”

Fauci said his research team has already begun looking into what it would take to construct enough machinery to remove the atmosphere and disperse it into outer space.